Beware the Turkey Gods...

It's been a madhouse around here. Between drawing for Doodles, and drawing for Daydreams, my son who got beat up (bless his heart-- he's fine BTW ;) ), and then everything we have to do for Thanksgiving.... things have me kinda running this way and that LOL!!

I was put in charge of roasting the turkeythis year. Now, normally I would be like "no sweat," but this year, I am sweating like a stuck pig.

See, a few years ago, we went to my MIL's house for Thanksgiving. I was told I needed to "bring stuffing." Since they would need the stuffing for the bird, I just grabbed two boxes of Stove Top, and headed on my merry way. We drove down to her house, and I walk in with my boxes in tow.

NOT COOKED??!!

She looks at me like I am crazy. "Why isn't it cooked?" she asked me. I said, "Well, I thought you would need it to stuff the turkey."

Again, she looks at me like I am CRAZY!

"I don't stuff my turkey, I never have."

BLASPHEMY! PURE BLASPHEMY!!

"Ummm, well that's the only way I know how to make a turkey is to stuff it. I really wish you woulda clarified HOW you wanted the stuffing... because I thought we would prepare it here so it could be fresh to stuff the turkey with."

I get this death glare like no other. To me, stuffing the turkey always added flavor, and it flavored the stuffing. It makes sure both won't be dry. They are sympatico. They go hand in hand. It's like having a wedding without inviting the groom. You can't NOT stuff the turkey.

Okay, I am sure for all of you "non-stuffers" out there yer looking at me like "yes you can, I do it all of the time." Well, she was also looking at me with those same eyes.

"Well, my turkey is always moist, and never dry... and I HAVE NEVER STUFFED the turkey."

We dropped it. And I prepared the stuffing there. All was well. Stuffing was all dandy. I had made good on my end ;)

So time comes to carve the turkey, and everything looks so delicious. It smells wonderful, and I just can't wait to scarf down a whole plate of Tryptophan and Potatoes. YUM!!! Smelled DELICIOUS.

"See, I told you.... my turkey always turns out WONDERFUL. And all with NO STUFFING."

I just rolled my eyes and took a bite.

*cough, cough*

I knew I didn't put tree bark on my plate, so I looked down to make sure that's not what I put in my mouth.

Hmmm, no tree bark on my plate... but whatever was in my mouth sure had the consistency of treebark. I shoveled a bunch of mashed taters and gravy in really quick so I could swallow the bite without choking to death on it.

Then, I did what everyone else does when the turkey tastes like ASS... I reached for the gravy, and SMOTHERED my poor turkey in GRAVY!

And so did everyone else.

She looked right at me, "well, I think you cursed the turkey talking about how it should be stuffed and stuff... cuz I have never ever had a dry turkey in all my days of Thanksgivings. NEVER."

*I* Cursed *her* Turkey????

I think the Turkey Gods did it personally. Maybe next time she will stuff the bird ;)

Anyway, so this brings me full circle to the beginning of my story. *I* am in charge of the turkey this year. And for the last three years or so... maybe four... My DH has been talking smack to her (and anyone else he can think of) about how delicious *my* turkey is, and how it's never ever been dry like hers was. So, now... I hope the Turkey Gods shine down on me... cuz I HAVE TO HAVE A DELICIOUSLY JUICY TURKEY.... Or I will NEVER NEVER NEVER live it down.